#2,399: Suburbicon

Rounders - ★★★½☆
Card games are cool. A little crime is cool. Check out these cool guys doing cool things they can’t leave alone because of their powerful addictions.

But really, I liked this. It has a 90s feel and structure to it that’s so comfortable and familiar that it was almost soothing.

American Anarchist - ★½☆☆☆
This was a good idea for a documentary, but if this story had been a submission to, say, a magazine, someone whose business is telling stories, it would have been killed when it turned out they had no story. But when you’re pot-committed, when your business is telling just this one particular story, you’re just going to go ahead and make it anyway. Luckily the filmmakers weren’t so completely starved for content as to decide the movie was actually about themselves, but they clearly ran out of steam before hitting feature-length.

Suburbicon - ★★★☆☆
I was pretty worried about this one because they rented a particular billboard on Wilshire that movies only rent when they think they’ve got a bomb on their hands. And they went with the deceptive trailer to boot. I’m thankful for that though because I had no idea about what was going on at the start of the movie. It was surprising and fun.

I think I liked everything everyone else hated. I was on board with both the Hitchcockian Matt Damon-centered story and the literally tangentially-related story of his neighbors. I would have liked more of that, even.

This movie is going to be lodged deep in the pile of movies that nobody will remember a year from now. Did you know they made an all-star remake of the Magnificent Seven last year?

#2,396: American Made

The Foreigner - ★★½☆☆
From Green Lantern’s Martin Campbell, this tonally confused action political comedy thriller pits old Jackie Chan against Pierce Brosnan and his army of inept goons.

But not, like, 007, Goldeneye Pierce Brosnan. It’s Mrs. Doubtfire’s Pierce Brosnan as the Elmer Fudd to special forces war hero (blah blah blah, it would have been fine to not explain his whole back story) Chan’s Bugs Bunny.

Battle of the Sexes - ★★★☆☆
Most deceptive trailer of the year? It’s more Billie v. Billie than Billie v. Bobby, and I like how casual the movie is with the latter being mostly theater. I think this is my favorite Emma Stone thing.

American Made - ★★★☆☆
Amazon's adaptation of the The Tick is done quite well, and makes its boldest move by casting Tom Cruise as American Maid.... No, that's silly.

This movie is, in fact, the sequel to Top Gun that Tom Cruise has been teasing the press with for 20 years. It was fun to watch, but if you’re in a hurry you can get the complete story from the trailer.

#2,393: IT

Brad's Status - ★½☆☆☆
I hate Brad. I don't care a whit about him and every time he starts narrating I get a little bummed out. I have no sympathy for this clod.

And besides that, how many times is Ben Stiller going to make this movie about being an adrift adult who regrets his life choices? Good thing he's got another one coming to Netflix next month.

It - ★★☆☆☆
Too much of a muchness. The actors playing The Losers did great work, but the movie stops being creepy or suspenseful once you realize the monster attacks in every scene. There must be a better way to convey the toll taken on these poor kids by relentless magical attacks than by battering the audience with the same thing. (Lucky thing it decides to leave them alone when they're at their weakest as a group!) It's a real breath of fresh air when the plot occasionally advances.

There was a part in the middle where I thought maybe we were going to learn something about what's going on in the town, like why the adults are both unaware of IT and also all so corrupt. I was hoping some reveal would explain that everyone in town is a ridiculous caricature on purpose, all a part of some clever plan. Or at least why they don't move out.

Also, the generic high school bully archetype sucks.

#2,391: Kingsmen: The Golden Circle

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me - ★★★☆☆
After wrapping up The Return, it was time to go back to the movie and look for clues. I thought the insights of the new show would make the movie more palatable. What I'd forgotten was that the chunk of the movie that relates to The Return, the first part with Chet Everett, was always the good part. Then they stick you with hours and hours of garbage about Laura Palmer. I've never cared about Laura Palmer. She's an impossible character with an insane, retroactively engineered to do list.

Logan Lucky - ★★★☆☆
I was clueless about this one. I didn’t know who was in it, what it was about, or that it was another experimental Soderbergh project. Which is a shame, because I like experimental Soderbergh projects. So it was only chance that I got to see this one. And I liked it! I’m a little suspicious that the logic might not exactly hold up, and there was a part where I got all distracted wondering if people in the Carolinas refer to freeways with a "the" in front of their names. Other than that, a fun heist.

I just need to see Lucky now, so in case the awards season is lousy there’s a chance that my top ten list for the year might include Logan, Lucky, and Logan Lucky!

Kingsman: The Golden Circle - ★★½☆☆ I didn’t love the original but this one clicked for me. You know right from the opening that it’s all nonsense and somehow I felt free to get on board. Like you know it’s Brave and the Bold, not Batman Begins, so don’t worry about what the grappling hook is attached to.

When I saw the original I wondered how they were going to do a sequel without the most / only interesting character. Then, as though out of spite, he’s both a) in this movie anyway, just because, and b) bland.

I bet that people making spy movie sequels just love doing that meta joke of repeating gags from the first one, because it’s like getting paid again for the same screenpla–I mean, because it’s a bitingly satirical look at the formulaic nature of classic Bond movies.

Also, I wonder if action scenes where everything is played back a little too fast (see: Civil War, Fury Road) read as sped-up to ‘normal’ viewers. (Normal used in this case to refer to people who aren't editors doing tricky things to video all day.)

#2,389: Atomic Blonde

What Happened to Monday - ★☆☆☆☆
Netflix is taking the reins from the Sci-Fi (ahem, Syfy) channel for goofy, cheapo SF movies.

Noomi Rapace is, somehow, the discount Tatiana Maslani in this dystopic vision of the future brought about by a clumsy understanding of science that already exists and works in our world.

Death Note - ★★½☆☆
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy taught me that when you adapt something into a different medium, you don't have to make the same thing. It's an opportunity to make something new! Well, newish. So I can see how purists, or even casuals, might have a bone to pick with this version of Death Note by way of American YA. But it does seem like the movie they wanted to make, and clearly they're not taking themselves too seriously. Also, what high school has so many jars of stylish debris everywhere? And also also, what kind of deal does Netflix have with Willem Dafoe? Is he going to be in all of these?

Atomic Blonde - ★★½☆☆
Fan chatter on the internet called this movie "Joan Wick," and while Theron's character is legitimately badass in her own right, the movies differ wildly. A big part of what makes Wick work, aside from all of the Star Wars-style hints at a broader universe, is the dead simple plot. Atomic Blonde loves its plot. Loves it loves it. If I had to guess, this movie will be most remembered for its knock down, drag out brawl near the end.