#2,391: Kingsmen: The Golden Circle

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me - ★★★☆☆
After wrapping up The Return, it was time to go back to the movie and look for clues. I thought the insights of the new show would make the movie more palatable. What I'd forgotten was that the chunk of the movie that relates to The Return, the first part with Chet Everett, was always the good part. Then they stick you with hours and hours of garbage about Laura Palmer. I've never cared about Laura Palmer. She's an impossible character with an insane, retroactively engineered to do list.

Logan Lucky - ★★★☆☆
I was clueless about this one. I didn’t know who was in it, what it was about, or that it was another experimental Soderbergh project. Which is a shame, because I like experimental Soderbergh projects. So it was only chance that I got to see this one. And I liked it! I’m a little suspicious that the logic might not exactly hold up, and there was a part where I got all distracted wondering if people in the Carolinas refer to freeways with a "the" in front of their names. Other than that, a fun heist.

I just need to see Lucky now, so in case the awards season is lousy there’s a chance that my top ten list for the year might include Logan, Lucky, and Logan Lucky!

Kingsman: The Golden Circle - ★★½☆☆ I didn’t love the original but this one clicked for me. You know right from the opening that it’s all nonsense and somehow I felt free to get on board. Like you know it’s Brave and the Bold, not Batman Begins, so don’t worry about what the grappling hook is attached to.

When I saw the original I wondered how they were going to do a sequel without the most / only interesting character. Then, as though out of spite, he’s both a) in this movie anyway, just because, and b) bland.

I bet that people making spy movie sequels just love doing that meta joke of repeating gags from the first one, because it’s like getting paid again for the same screenpla–I mean, because it’s a bitingly satirical look at the formulaic nature of classic Bond movies.

Also, I wonder if action scenes where everything is played back a little too fast (see: Civil War, Fury Road) read as sped-up to ‘normal’ viewers. (Normal used in this case to refer to people who aren't editors doing tricky things to video all day.)

#2,389: Atomic Blonde

What Happened to Monday - ★☆☆☆☆
Netflix is taking the reins from the Sci-Fi (ahem, Syfy) channel for goofy, cheapo SF movies.

Noomi Rapace is, somehow, the discount Tatiana Maslani in this dystopic vision of the future brought about by a clumsy understanding of science that already exists and works in our world.

Death Note - ★★½☆☆
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy taught me that when you adapt something into a different medium, you don't have to make the same thing. It's an opportunity to make something new! Well, newish. So I can see how purists, or even casuals, might have a bone to pick with this version of Death Note by way of American YA. But it does seem like the movie they wanted to make, and clearly they're not taking themselves too seriously. Also, what high school has so many jars of stylish debris everywhere? And also also, what kind of deal does Netflix have with Willem Dafoe? Is he going to be in all of these?

Atomic Blonde - ★★½☆☆
Fan chatter on the internet called this movie "Joan Wick," and while Theron's character is legitimately badass in her own right, the movies differ wildly. A big part of what makes Wick work, aside from all of the Star Wars-style hints at a broader universe, is the dead simple plot. Atomic Blonde loves its plot. Loves it loves it. If I had to guess, this movie will be most remembered for its knock down, drag out brawl near the end.

Escape Room Reviews: The Smugglers' Tunnels

Company: Escape Chronicles
Room: The Smugglers’ Tunnels
Date Played: 9/4/17
Player Count: 4, a good minimum for this room.
Success:  Success!

Premise: As part of an elite crime ring that’s been burned, you need to get the goods, finger your traitorous partner, and get out!  The more work you do and the more puzzles you solve, the more stolen artifacts you can recover and the more cash you get to split with your crew.

Immersion: Escape Chronicles’ first room is well designed, but it’s an office theme, so that’s almost a gimme. This room looks as much or more like a cavern hideout than the Testing Facility looks like an office break room. 

Highlights: The Smugglers’ Tunnels has a wonderful system for giving each member of your ring of thieves secret, specialized knowledge. You’re not a bunch of henchmen, you’re hand picked for your unique skills, all of which are necessary to pull this thing off. The room features a non-linear series of tasks befitting each specialist. This room has fun interactions, some cool reveals, and plenty of things to keep everyone busy. 

Lowlights: I wasted some of my loot on calling a criminal mastermind for a hint when I should’ve totally seen the thing the hint was about. Also, we got suckered by a forgery instead of one of the real valuables. 

And Finally: I loved this room. With two excellent rooms, Escape Chronicles is officially my favorite escape company in Los Angeles (or anywhere). It may be neck-and-neck with Evil Genius, but so far I’ve only seen one room from them. The North Hollywood location might make Escape Chronicles seem a little off the beaten path, especially for visitors and tourists, but this should be considered one of LA’s can’t-miss games. Out of 33 games played, this one is practically tied for first. I'm going to call it #2.

How to book this room yourself: Visit https://www.escapechronicles.com/rooms/smugglers-tunnels/

#2,386: Wind River

The Mars Generation - ★★½☆☆
I like to do a joke where I say that I bet there was one week each year at Space Camp when every kid there was a Double Dare champion. Like, you'd want to keep those game show winners away from the serious space kids seen in this movie.

The problem, of course, is that for younger audiences nothing about that joke makes any sense. The smart thing to do would be to tell a different joke. But what I usually do is try to dig my way out of the hole by explaining it to them. Space Camp, I'll say, doesn't exist anymore, but it's a place where you used to be able to send fancy children so that they could pretend to be a part of the Space Program, which doesn't exist anymore, but used to be a scheme organized by the government to shoot United States citizens. At the moon. And it worked! Except that some people don't believe it, they think it was all a hoax put on by Stanley Kubrick, who is a filmmaker that doesn't exist anymore...

Somewhere around this time I realize that the college kids or whoever are just staring at me, having learned nothing because I started in on the wrong part of the sentence, and for some reason I start again. Double Dare, I'll say, is a game show that doesn't exist anymore, where the grand prize (so named for its size compared to the other prizes) was a trip to Space Camp. Of course, I'm talking about original, proper Double Dare, not Family Double Dare, Super Sloppy Double Dare, or Double Dare 2000, because as we all know, the grand prize of these latter-day Doubles Dare is a trip to Universal Studios Florida, also known as: the place where Double Dare was taped.

That's right! If you somehow got on to one of these shows, played your ten-year-old heart out and won? You got to go outside. To the theme park you already paid to enter, so that you could be on Double Dare.

What I'm trying to say is that I learned from this movie that Space Camp still exists. It looks like it's pretty fun if you're into that sort of thing.

20th Century Women - ★★★★½ 
Wow, Annette Benning is great in this. I hope she won a prize for it. I would have given her a prize. Wow.

Wind River - ★★★★☆
Hawkeye continues to mentor the Scarlet Witch (here using the winking pseudonym "Jane Banner"), this time in dealing with the casual horror regular humans are capable of perpetrating on one another. It's a little unclear whether this takes place before or after Civil War, although my money's on before if they're operating under the auspices of the federal government.

It's refreshing to have one of these smaller, quieter side stories without Robert Downey Jr. zooming in to save the day every few minutes. Sometimes a regular man with impeccable target shooting skills is enough.

Escape Room Reviews: One Way Ticket

Company: Maze Rooms
Room: One Way Ticket
Date Played: 9/4/17
Player Count: 4, which was plenty
Success:  Success!

Premise: You’re on a train! Also, there’s a bomb. On the train. Something to think about.

Immersion: The production design of the train is terrific. This set does not give the same sense of traveling between cars that Escapology's train game does, but the train decor is lovely, and the engineer’s station is steampunk fun.

Highlights: This room has a pretty good flow to it, and the set, as I say, looks great. The end game has some fun moments and interactions. I thought the section involving train routes was neat.

Lowlights:  We got stuck once, caved and asked for help, and it turned out to be one of those situations where we let a finicky prop convince us the right answer was the wrong answer.

And Finally:   This room is very heavy on collectibles. It’s not a very difficult game, but there’s a fair amount of search to do. This would be an excellent room for new players. Our group found it a little bit short. It would be fun to play as just a couple, but of course Maze Rooms discourages that (financially). Out of 32 games played, I'm putting this one down as #14. 

How to book this room yourself: Visit https://la.mazerooms.com/quest/one-way-ticket/