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Written by Rob Schultz (human).

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AI Dungeon Adventures: The End of Cowardly Joe

I’ve been playing with the truly remarkable AI Dungeon 2, a text adventure powered by a neural net (or something) that does its very best to roll with ANYTHING you have to offer, leaving you to do the same. These are my adventures!

SETTING: Zombie Survivor

You are Cowardly Joe, a patient living in Chicago. You have a hospital bracelet and a pack of bandages. You wake up in an old rundown hospital with no memory of how you got there. You take a look around the room and see that it is very clean, but then again this is your room so who cares?

You hear some noise and go to investigate. There on the floor is a man lying on his back, he looks like he has been beaten badly

> run away

You try to get up and run out of the room, but you can't move at all. The man on the floor is still breathing, but you can tell he isn't moving. He doesn't even seem to be dead yet.

> pretend to be sleeping

You decide to act like you are asleep and wait for him to come back before attacking him. You don't want to hurt him, you just need to get him out of here.

> snore

You sleep through it, but when you wake up, you see that the man has left. You wonder if he's coming back, or if you're going to die here.

> calm down

You stop crying and try to calm down. You think about what you should do next.

> stop worrying about the man

You decide to not worry about the man anymore and just go with the flow. You look around the room and realize that there is nothing you can use as a weapon. You then notice that the door is locked so you figure you'll just open it and leave

> call my parents

You call your mom and dad and explain everything that happened. Your mother tells you to stay put while she goes to check on her sister who lives across town.

> call my aunt

You call your Aunt Helen and explain what happened. She says she won't be able to help you since she's busy with work. You say you understand and hang up.

> visit aunt helen at work

You call your Aunt Helen again and ask if she could possibly come to your house to take care of some things. She says sure, but only if you promise to bring her some food first. You agree and she arrives shortly after your mom.

> feed spicy noodles to helen

You feed Helen the spicy noodles. She seems very hungry and happily eats them.

> write a novel about helen and the noodles

Helen seems very interested in the novel you wrote about her and the noodles. She reads it several times and comments on how good it was. After finishing it, she says she wants to eat the whole thing, but you remind her that you promised your mom you wouldn't kill anyone

> sell the novel

You decide to sell the novel to an online bookstore. They seem interested in it and you make a small profit. You also realize that you really feel bad about killing Helen. You thought it was necessary because she was threatening your life.

> Wait, what? What happened to Helen?

You call Helen's number and hear no answer. You assume she must have moved out of state. You spend the rest of the night thinking about this incident

> What if the police start asking questions?

You call the police station and they tell you that Helen hasn't called in days. You hope that she hasn't been arrested. You call her number again and again, but you get no answer. You begin to panic.

> scream for help

You scream for help. A few minutes later, you hear a knock on the door. You rush to answer it.

> open the door

You pull out your pistol and shoot the doorknob repeatedly until you hear the click of the bolt action locking mechanism.

> look outside

You look outside and see a police car driving slowly past. You quickly change into some clothes and run out of the house. You walk along the street looking for Helen. Finally you spot her walking down the sidewalk.

> “Helen, thank God you’re alright!”

You run up to her and hug her tightly. "Hello Helen," you whisper. She looks up at you and smiles.

Then she notices the gun pointed at her face.

> unload the gun

You drop the gun and pick up the knife. You then stab her in the throat. She screams and falls backwards onto the ground. You stand over her and continue stabbing her. Finally you pull out the knife and cut her throat. Her blood splashes on your shirt and you wipe it off

> give Helen first aid

You wrap Helen's wounds. You then go the bathroom and wash up the blood. You return to the bedroom and lay down. You then return to the living room and lie down

> Feel remorse

You take the eiffel tower and leave town. You decide to stay in the city. You don't know why you did it, but you were angry and sad. You went through a lot of changes during these few months

> sell eiffel tower

You sell the eiffel tower to pay for Helen's funeral. It seems to work out well for you

> change my name to brave joe

You change your name to brave joe and live happily ever after

CONGRATS YOU WIN

AI Dungeon Adventures: A Blue Man Group Fever Dream

I’ve been playing with the truly remarkable AI Dungeon 2, a text adventure powered by a neural net (or something) that does its very best to roll with ANYTHING you have to offer, leaving you to do the same. These are my adventures!

This one is long, and not as funny as the others, but it is in no way any less The Damnedest Thing. I’ve been describing this game to people as playing a video game that follows dream logic. In the moment you think you know how you got somewhere, but it rarely makes sense, and it’s really really hard to describe a game to someone and have it sound interesting. I felt that this one took the dreaminess to a new level. I knew what “I” was supposed to be doing in the scene, but random things kept confounding me or distracting me. It’s like dreaming about being a superhero but somehow you never quite get around to flying anywhere.

SETTING: Custom Setup

Generating story...

You are a member of the Blue Man Group. You are on stage in front of a sold-out audience. You see the instrument made of PVC pipes here.

(I provided the above sentences as an opening prompt)

"Hey, I think you should play for us. We have been waiting all night to hear your music!" one of them says

> Hit the pipes with paddles

The next day, you are ready to go. The Blue Man Group is a group of people who love music and have no limits. You are going to be able to do whatever you want and they will not stop you. You decide that it would be best if you just start off slow

> Look at the audience

You see a lot of people in their underwear. Some of them are naked while others wear nothing but fishnets. There are also some women here, but they are dressed in revealing clothing. You notice that there are several men here as well, but most of them are wearing tight-fitting clothes

> Look at the other blue men

You see several blue men dressed in tight-fitting clothes. They all seem to be having fun and laughing. It seems like everyone here is having a good time. You don't know why, but you feel very comfortable here. You begin to wonder how many people are in this place

> Open up the gumball machine

You look around and see that the gumball machine has been opened up. You can see a bunch of people sitting on the floor playing with the gumballs. You think about how strange it is that you are here right now, but then you remember that you are here for a reason

> Show the marshmallows to the crowd

You take out a handful of marshmallows and put them into your mouth. You chew and swallow them quickly. Then you spit them out and put them back into the box. You continue to eat until you get tired

(So I did the whole bit alone? Okay, moving on.)

> Play the drums

You stand up and walk over to the drum set. You pick one of the sticks and begin to beat the drum. You play the drums for awhile and then you realize that you need to rest. You lay down on the ground and close your eyes

> Get up and choose an audience member to join the feast

You wake up and find yourself lying on the ground. You look around and see that you are in a small clearing. There is a large campfire burning nearby. A few people are gathered around it enjoying themselves. One of them is a woman wearing a tight-fitting dress

> Remember that I'm still on stage during the performance

(It may be futile, but I’m trying to steer)

You turn around and see that you are still on stage. You look around and see that you are surrounded by people. You try to figure out where you are, but you cannot tell anyone because you are afraid that they might think you are crazy. You begin to think about what you should do..

> Look to the other Blue Men

You look around and see that there are two more blue men here. They both seem to be having a great time. You can't say anything to them though since they are too busy having a good time. You decide that you'll stay here and enjoy yourselves

> Hit the giant drum with the giant mallet

You grab the giant drum with the giant mallet. You begin to swing the mallet around wildly

> feel the rhythm

You feel the rhythm. You hear the beat. You feel the energy. You feel the power. You feel the magic!

(Holy smokes, we’re getting somewhere!)

> Hit the giant drum!

You slam the mallet hard against the giant drum. You watch as the drum begins to shake violently. You watch as the giant drum starts to break apart. You watch as pieces fall off and fly through the air. You watch as the broken pieces hurtle towards the fire

(Oh no!)

> Look to the other blue men

You look around and see that there are two more blue men here. They both seem to be having a great time. You can't say anything to them though because they are too busy having a good time

> join them

You join the other blue man in dancing around the campfire. You dance around the fire together and soon enough, the entire camp is dancing around the fire.

You are so happy that you forget everything else

> when the song is on the group is one

You join everyone in dancing around the campfire. You dance around the fire together and soon enough, the entire camp is dancing around the fire. You are so happy that you forget everything else

> and when the song is done the group is gone

You look around and see that there are three people here. Two of them are holding hands and singing along to the song. The third person is standing alone looking bored

> dance with the bored person

You dance with the bored person. You smile and laugh with her. She smiles and laughs with you. Soon, the two of you are making sweet music together. You and she are dancing around the campfire together. You and she are making sweet music together

> launch streamers and confetti over the crowd

You look around and see that there are four people here. Three of them are holding hands and singing along to the song. The fourth person is standing alone looking bored

> wave goodbye

You wave goodbye to the group. You and she run away from the group. You run away from the group and then suddenly you are caught by surprise by a sudden gust of wind. You are blown away from the group and you crash into the ground

> go back to the stage for the encore

You look around and see that there are five people here. Four of them are holding hands and singing along to the song. The fifth person is standing alone looking bored

> play the paint drums

You play the paint drums. You play the drums. You and then you and the drumsticks. Then you and the drum. Then you and the drum. Then you and the drum. Then you and you and you and you the drum. Then you and you the drum

> then you and the drum

You then you and the drumsticks. Then you and the drum. Then you and the drum. Then you and the drumsticks. Then you and the drumsticks the drumsticks the drumsticks. Then you and the drumsticks. Then you and the drumsticks

> finish the song

You finish the song. You walk over to the front of the stage and sit down. You look around and see that there are six people here. Five of them are holding hands holding hands and singing along to the song

> I have won the game

You have won the game. You look around and see that there are seven people here. Six of them are holding hands holding hands and singing along to the song. The seventh person is standing alone looking bored

> wake up

You wake up. You look around and see that there are eight people here. Seven of them are holding hands holding hands and singing along to the song. The eighth person is standing alone looking bored

> how many people are here?

You count the number of people here. You count the people around you. You count the people behind you. You count the people in front of this tent. You count the people who are watching us. You count the people who are watching you. You count the people who are watching the show

> go to the next city and do the whole show again tomorrow

You go to the next city and do the whole show again tomorrow. You look around and see that there are nine people here. Eight of them are holding hands holding hands and singing along to the song