‘Does not fight crime effectively.’

That's what you'll see on my report card this term. I meandered over to Trader Joe's because I felt I didn't own enough food and I saw a car idling in front of the store. I went a bit out of my way to walk around it instead of in front. While I was behind the car someone ran out of the store and before they were seated or managed to get the door closed, the car peeled out. Further down the parking lot, a guy literally jumped out of the way as an employee ran out of the store. Apparently, the person who just barely made it into the car was carrying an unpurchased case of wine.

But if I'd just walked in front of the car instead, they couldn't have sped away. Or I'd be hospitalized right now.

I just hope they don't go on a drunken spree, drive across the continent, and then murder one of my uncles, thus compelling me to use my ability to vaguely inconvenience drivers in parking lots responsibly and at great personal cost for the rest of my days...