boom.

Here's a news story: NEWS The thing about it, the thing with that, I mean? The thing is, there's a multi-billion dollar device designed to accelerate particles to something near the speed of light and then smash them together with extreme frequency. It's supposed to teach us interesting things about the universe. Or, maybe, it'll cause the creation of a small black hole (or other oddity) that will rapidly devour the planet.

I find this either absolutely terrifying, or hilarious. And it's going to be activated today.

Fortunately, more forward-thinking individuals have already taken measures to be prepared for unusual problems...