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Written by Rob Schultz (human).

AI Dungeon Adventures: Unacceptable

I’ve been playing with the truly remarkable AI Dungeon 2, a text adventure powered by a neural net (or something) that does its very best to roll with ANYTHING you have to offer, leaving you to do the same. These are my adventures!

SETTING: Spy Mystery
(I was hoping to generate a new installment of my ongoing spy comedy series, UNACCEPTABLE. I think that this particular story may be non-canonical, because my main character doesn’t typically die at the end.)

You are Colin, a spy living in Chicago. You have a concealed pistol and a syringe of poison. You listen to the russian diplomats and hear them discussing their plan. They want you to go into a bar and get information on who is there and what they are doing

> Say "I'm not trying to be difficult, but this is unacceptable!"

"I'm not trying to be difficult, but this is unacceptable!"

The diplomat looks at you with an expression that says he doesn't believe you. He continues his conversation and leaves.

You walk down the street, looking for something to do. A woman walks past you

> Say hello to my partner Vanessa

"Hello, I'm Colin, I live here".

She smiles at you and waves back. She has short brown hair and wears glasses. She's about your age, maybe even younger.You both continue walking.

> Ask vanessa if she bugged the embassy

"No, I didn't".

You nod.

> Plant listening devices in the embassy

You smile.

> eavesdrop on the diplomats

"Listen carefully".

"Oh, okay..".

"They're talking about the new drug they've been selling".

> send vanessa to buy the new drug

"I'll go and get it for you". Vanessa nods and begins walking towards the door. "Okay, bye".

She turns around and heads out the door.

"Wait! Wait!" You call after her

> give gun to vanessa

"Do whatever you want with it, just don't hurt anyone".

Vanessa takes the gun from you and starts playing with it.

> play with the poison

"This isn't working, I need more of it".

"Well, why don't we try something else?"

"Something else? What would that be?"

> take jar of extra-strength poison

"I can't do anything with this stuff, let me try something else".

She opens up the jar and takes out a small bottle filled with red liquid. She hands it to you. It's clear and smells like rotten eggs

> fill syringe with red liquid

"It's really strong, I think I should drink some water first".

You put the syringe into your mouth and suck on it. The liquid tastes terrible, but you manage to swallow it.

> make antidote in chemistry laboratory

"Yeah, I think I need to wash my face now".

You leave the apartment building and head to the nearest bathroom. You turn on the faucet and pour some cold water over your face. After washing your face, you begin to feel nauseous. You vomit all over yourself

(What, again?)
> brush teeth

"That was weird, I don't remember drinking any alcohol before".

> black out

You wake up in a hospital bed. Your eyes open slowly, but you see a man sitting next to you. His name is Dr. Kessel and he seems very concerned. "Are you alright? Are you sick?" He asks

> say "I drank a lot of expensive poison!"

"How much?"

> "Ywo syringes full"

"Wow, that's quite a quantity".

> "Do you have any anti-poison?"

"We don't have any, I guess you were poisoned by the drugs that the government is developing"

> "Can I borrow your chemistry lab to make some antidote?"

"Of course, I'll explain everything later, but right now I'd like to know how you got poisoned".

> "First, I drank the poison, then my partner gave me more poison and I drank it."

Dr. Kessel frowns "So you drank the poison then?"

> "Yes, I drank the poison with my mouth"

"Thank you for telling me everything, I'll talk to my team about this".

> "Excuse me, but I'm in need of medical attention"

Dr. Kessel looks at you as if he wants to say something, but decides against it. Instead he goes to the door and calls someone

> bite my nails

"Ah, well I suppose it was an accident, but what exactly did you drink? And where did you get the poison?"

> Explain the events of the poisoning

"I drank the poison, and then my partner took the poison away when he left and I couldn't stop him from doing so".

> die of poison

"No, you didn't die of poison, you died of heart failure".

(Not the best improv move, but when you’re the synthetic super-intelligence in charge of the game, you do what you want.)

YOU DIED. GAME OVER